What a load of bullsh*t!
Go on, tell yourselves how you’re
gonna tell the world about your brand.
About how you have meaning, not just profit, in mind.
How you’re saving the planet with
nothing but soap and a poor logo.
Using language that connects with millennials.
But really just the CEO.
Throw in some buzzwords
Put a stake in the ground
And smash it out the park with
some blue sky thinking
Let’s add some puns.
Call it a sprinkle of wit.
Wrap it in type with no kerning.
Some clinical design.
And have it painted on your office wall.
Don’t worry, everything in here has gone through testing.
Months and months of testing.
A bloke in Scarborough loves it.
So we’re all good.
Maybe turn it into a mood film.
Or better still… a television commercial.
It could live online.
We’ll call it an online film.
We could even push it through social.
Yeah, this manifesto might be bullsh*t.
But let’s take the things we hate about advertising.
And make them fuel the things we love.